FINDING FLOW AND NAVIGATING NAYS | THE ARTIST'S WAY WEEK FIVE AND SIX

“It is as though we want to believe God can create the subatomic structure but is clueless when faced with how to aid or fix our painting, sculpture, writing, film.”

Hello hello.  It's been a while since I've been here, but I'm back with an update on my journey through The Artist's Way. Progress has been slower than anticipated, with my weeks stretching out into elongated periods rather than neatly fitting into the 10 day increments as I had planned. Initially, I had high hopes of adhering to a meticulous schedule and smoothly flowing through the weekly tasks and activities. However, reality had other plans. Around the 5th week, I hit a slump. Life's several many distractions began to encroach, gradually eating away at my commitment to the structured timetable I had set for myself. Eventually, I found myself abandoning it altogether, sometime around October of last year - after the activities you’ll see me describe in this blog. I stopped doing as well as documenting.

Nevertheless, I'm making a comeback. This year, I've taken the time to reassess what engaging with The Artist's Way means to me - a checklist of tasks to tick off, or a profound journey of self-discovery and healing.

For me, it assuredly embodies the latter. While my perspective might not align with everyone who has embarked on this journey themselves, maximizing personal growth remains my overriding objective.

Thus, the solemn vow to myself for this year: to complete the book in its entirety. I'll make my way across its pages at a pace that harmonizes with the rhythm of my life, ensuring that I extract the most value from each exercise and insight.

Now, let's rewind to September and dive back into the narrative of my journey.

Week 5 led me on a journey to “recover a sense of possibility” and unearth the hidden, and question-worthy, payoff within stagnation.

This particular chapter resonated with me deeply, provoking keen introspection. Many of its concepts felt eerily familiar, from stuff I've read, various conversations, and observations. Yet, despite hearing these messages before, they often seemed momentary, slipping through the corners of my mind without truly taking root. However, there was something distinct about the presentation of this chapter that finally allowed the message to sink in.

In the opening section of the chapter titled "Limits," I encountered a quote that instantly resonated with me: "Pray to catch the bus, then run as fast as you can." This simple yet profound statement felt like it was written for my struggles. I've always found it challenging to initiate tasks, hindered by a lack of trust in both myself and the universe's ability to safeguard me from potential pitfalls due to my self-limiting beliefs.

I carry with me so many ifs and buts and spiral myself into oblivion thinking of all the ways something could go wrong before I even begin. While this tendency may stem from a desire to prepare adequately for the future, it more frequently serves as a self-imposed barrier, preventing me from reaching for opportunities or believing in my own capabilities. It ends up being the very reason I let myself believe that I am not allowed to catch the bus at all - that I am not capable.

However, this chapter served as a powerful reminder of the boundless opportunities available to us all. It reinforced the notion that abundance is not in limited supply, and that each of us possess equal access to it. This realization sparked a renewed sense of confidence.

“When we cannot seem to find an adequate supply, it is because we are insisting on a particular human source of supply. We must learn to let the flow manifest itself where it will - not where we will it.”

“An artist must have downtime, time to do nothing.”

I felt as I read this chapter, once again, it felt as though its words were penned specifically for me. I was juggling the demands of working on my shop update, looking into getting my studio, packing, figuring out my website changes, figuring out life changes, everything. All at once.

Every task seemed to cascade seamlessly and mercilessly into the next without affording me a moment's rest. But wasn’t actually true. I did have time in the middle, but I was way too damn tired to do anything. Fatigue often gripped me so tightly that I gave up on my morning and night routines, abandoned my journaling practice, and resigned myself to sleepless nights. The overwhelming nature of everything was a weight too heavy to bare at the time. and id be lying if I said I didn’t still feel that way sometimes. 

The words within this chapter acted as a balm to the frazzled soul. They served as a gentle reminder that it's not only acceptable but essential to seek moments of rest amidst life's frantic pace. These words were a soothing thing to read amidst all that chaos. Just a reminder that I am not wrong in asking, or even wishing for downtime, I am deserving of it.

“You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.”

One of the highlights of this chapter was undoubtedly creating the Image file—a truly delightful collection of pictures representing the life that I envision for myself. From my dreams of traveling and having a family to aspirations for my home, business, and art - this exercise served as a sweet little journey into my future aspirations.

What struck me most profoundly was the realization that amidst life's bustling pace, I harbour a deep, deep desire for a more slow and leisurely rhythm. The process of selecting images allowed me to recognize and appreciate this longing for a slower, more intentional way of living.

As I looked through he images that captured my dreams, I felt a renewed sense of positivity and excitement for the future - a future filled not just with accomplishments, but with moments of joy, connection, and serenity. What I truly crave for my future is time. 

I believe this was the most powerful exercise yet. I'm much too familiar with the feeling of being stuck. It isn’t something I want to be familiar with in the first place. No one does. But the prompt for this exercise helped me dive deeper into why this was a feeling I was familiar with. Why it, “being blocked”, felt comfortable.

Being blocked for me, as I explored in my morning pages, meant on the one hand that I didn’t grow. But also, I realized that being blocked provides a sense of comfort in familiarity. It shields me from the discomfort of stepping into the unknown and facing potential failure. By avoiding challenges, I can sidestep the possibility of embarrassment and maintain a sense of stability in my life. It also gives me something to complain about, a familiar narrative to fall back on.

This realization struck a chord within me. Although the intensity of its impact may have faded slightly over time, I'm determined to keep it at the forefront of my mind. It serves as a affecting reminder to question whether the perceived safety of staying blocked is truly worth sacrificing my personal growth and potential.

Week 6 unfolded as a journey into the more "practical" aspects of self-discovery.

With each successive chapter, I discovered a finely tuned equilibrium between deep thinking and journaling, thoughtful self-reflection, and go-out-in-the-world activities designed to be a practical and hands on approach to the healing. It was silly, but I was very excited upon making this discovery.

So here’s the sweet little activities I did for this chapter:

I was so excited for this. I love flowers. I always have, even as a kid. The shapes and colours have always intrigued me. When I read this prompt I felt like my inner child was awakened. It was almost surreal, as if I needed permission, or a reason to indulge in this simple pleasure.

But anyways, the book gave me that permission, and pick flowers I did. I went around my society and looked under all verdant shrubs and towering trees for pretty flowers that gracefully abandoned their abodes to rest upon the earth. I cupped my hand and filled it up, one flower after another, until it was too small to hold them all in. An odd juxtaposition, I felt so full. And so happy. I came home and I pressed them between the pages of an art book in an attempt to preserve them and keep this feeling locked in forever. 

I was on the baking train during this time. Almost every other week, if not more frequently, I would go on a new baking adventure. It felt like good fortune when the book granted me yet another inferred permission for this pursuit, although deep down, I knew I didn't truly need it. After all, one should never require permission to indulge in activities they love. Nevertheless, it felt like a subtle sign of affirmation.

I decided to bake something ive wanted to for ages: an apple pie. The process was both thrilling and rewarding, and the end result exceeded all expectations. As I savoured each slice, I couldn't help but marvel at the synchronicity of it all. It was a reminder that sometimes, the universe aligns to affirm our passions and desires.

Im sure it’s clear by now that I am a big advocate for things that are old school. Postcards are no exception. Thus, when the activity in this chapter prompted me to send out postcards, I welcomed it with enthusiasm.

Crafting and sending these postcards felt like indulging in an everyday ritual, yet there was a distinct sense of significance to the gesture. I gathered some addresses, some of my favourite stickers, my trusty lucky pen and I began writing. A truly energising exercise. I love the act of writing to express my feelings, a fact evident in the pages of my journals. but anyways, I wrote and wrote, decorated and sealed. And then I was off to the post office to drop off these pieces of love for my friends. I couldn't help but wear a big broad smile.

And that was weeks 5 and 6 of my journey through The Artist's Way. It's worth noting that despite the healing and learning that occurred during these weeks, my slump seemed to intertwine with these activities. It may sound paradoxical, but that's the nature of healing—it can evoke both positive and challenging emotions simultaneously.

While these insights may seem like distant memories now, I hope they still hold significance and resonance for you. I eagerly anticipate sharing more of my experiences with The Artist's Way in the future. Until then, I encourage you to nurture your inner child and make space for growth. And of course, pick pretty flowers :)